Agnostic Guide Chapter 15 - Losing My Religion

My Agnostic Testimony

I was raised Roman Catholic but I discovered agnosticism instead of accepting the sacrament of confirmation. The writings of Thomas Henry Huxley, Robert G. Ingersoll, and Bertrand Russell aided my personal understanding of knowledge as it relates to the possibility of anything metaphysical. Their writings are the basis for my realization we’re all agnostic as well as de facto atheists and humanists.

I believe knowledge about the metaphysical is most likely unattainable by physical beings. I began to question and analyze the roots of the Bible’s knowledge claims from the agnostic perspective during my church’s religious education. I took a deeper look and engaged in some meaningful discussions instead of taking it as a gospel truth. My questioning led to my eventual disbelief in modern religions as newer versions of old religions we now consider mythologies. Religions and mythologies are very similar creatures and only differ in having believers or not.

I decided as a teenager the best way for me to truly understand religion was to read the Bible from beginning to end without considering any other interpretations. I started with the Book of Genesis. It was written by someone more primitive than us claiming to know the birth story for all of existence. It set the stage for everything else claimed in the Bible. I continued all the way to the closing thoughts of Revelation.

Revelation 22:18-19

I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this scroll: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to that person the plagues described in this scroll. And if anyone takes words away from this scroll of prophecy, God will take away from that person any share in the tree of life and in the Holy City, which are described in this scroll.

I didn’t read the Bible and pick out selected passages to focus on the little gems of human wisdom. The Bible does indeed contain some wisdom. These gems were always highlighted for us every Sunday at church and seemed to prove the validity of the Bible. The flaw is thinking some truth in writing means everything else must be true. Humans wrote the Bible so it’s natural they would include at least some human wisdom.

I wanted to attain an intimate and personal understanding of these claims made by some of our Middle Eastern ancestry. I’ve read the Bible trying to use the mindset of someone who wasn’t raised to believe it without question. I tried not to add a modern spin to the ancient writings. A starting position of agnosticism taught me to question everything as close to the roots of their origin as possible. I tried to relate to the claims as they were created instead of relating the claims to the current world. I accept only what continues to make sense as probable knowledge after examining the source of the claims.

We can’t originate all of our knowledge through personal experiences so we do have to rely on the knowledge of others. However, anyone can claim something to be true without a verifiable personal experience as the source. Those claims only need believers to assert them as a part of our collective human knowledge. Fortunately, Santa Claus taught me belief alone isn’t knowledge regardless of how much everyone tries to make something seem real.

I think it’s important to know something about the author since what they write inevitably includes aspects of the author’s views and biases. What you’re reading now is obviously written from my own viewpoint. I know one author didn’t write all of the books of the Bible since the biblical canon I was following was assembled by the Council of Rome and was agreed upon the same way politicians approve a body of laws. The author identifies himself as John, but I don't know if it’s another John of the Bible who wrote Revelation because the people who study those things still debate it today.

I only know the book was written around 2,000 years ago by a religious person believing he had a religious experience to inspire the writing. It could be the divine word of God or it could be the drug induced ravings of a lunatic. I need faith in the author, the Council of Rome, and everyone else involved before I can put my faith in the text itself as the unquestionable word of God. Why should we trust any of them?

After providing a prophecy and claiming it all as truth and knowledge, the writer of Revelation closes with the same thoughts I hear time and again from believers regarding faith in religious beliefs. These thoughts say a lot to me about Revelation, the Bible, and all religious writings. John warns us to not add or take away words from the scroll or suffer God’s wrath. Why did John write that God wants John’s words to be unquestionable? Why are there such severe punishments alluded to for questioning it?

It appears to me the Bible ends in threats because the claims made in Revelation and elsewhere in the Bible require faith in them to be knowledge since they’re not about the physical world. They don’t actually appear to be true when you seriously think about them and their origin. They need to be claimed true by the claims themselves because they have no other support to determine if these are facts or not.

I could just as easily write here that all of my writings are the true word of God. I could write that He will be infinitely upset if you question this since I’m correcting the errors of the primitive followers who misunderstood God’s true message. How do you know my claims aren’t true? Doesn’t any critique you imagine for my statement apply to all writings and claims concerning the metaphysical? I’d rather work with what I think I know instead of relying on belief and a blind faith in that belief for things most likely unknowable. I’d rather put my faith in the attainment of knowledge as justifiable true beliefs.

I had a mental fear of examining and questioning my own beliefs when I was a teenager because of these teachings about the written word of God as perfect and unquestionable. Shouldn’t we be afraid any analysis of the Bible violates the warning in Revelation to not add to the words? I actually asked God for guidance when I first started probing my own faith. I tapped lightly with a mental cane as I passed each obstacle for abandoning my religious beliefs which religion had constructed in my mind.

Leaving religion was the same process as abandoning my childhood beliefs in Santa Claus. However, Santa Claus was so much easier to not believe in because the authority figures in my life reaffirmed my loss of faith and told me how the concept of Santa Claus functioned in society. God was harder because these same authority figures insisted God was real and God was required for society itself to function. It took me many years of exploration to figure out God was also invented by humanity.

Knowledge, truth, and questioning are not virtues in religion probably because these were discovered to be detrimental to the ancient mythologies. The surviving religions promote faith over knowledge because an unquestionable faith allows religious claims of knowledge about the metaphysical to be seen as truth through the eyes of faith. I believe with every part of my being we don’t know the truth about how or why existence and this universe came to be.

I could also testify like John that if anyone adds or takes away from my writings then they are rejecting the truth about existence and our true first cause will take away their part of the book of life. Would you dare question something greater than a first cause that’s so amazing and powerful it’s completely undefinable and unknowable to all physical beings? I wouldn’t dare question such a being and that’s why I do question everything written by humans claiming to possess knowledge of it. If you know Pascal’s Wager then my variation is that I’m a truth-fearing agnostic who wouldn’t want to risk living my life under an invalid truth claim. I’m betting on the fact we don’t really know despite the threat in Revelation.

The Fig Tree

As I said, I was loosely raised as a Catholic child and fell away from that when I actually tried to study the Bible as a teenager. This next area criticizes specific passages in a specific religion. I didn’t want it to distract from discussing all religions as a collective set of mythology so I’ve tried avoiding this type of detailed criticism in this book. However, I credit the stories of the fig tree in the Bible as the key to my awakening and seeing the true origin of religions. I may not know the origin of the universe, but the origin of our religions appears crystal clear to me. Here’s a little agnostic Bible study for your consideration starting with some questions to help frame the study.

--- Does the Bible contain any errors or conflicting information?

--- Does Jesus always do what is kind and positive in every situation?

--- Would Jesus act vengeful towards an innocent person or creature?

--- Can the average believer perform any kind of miracle he or she wishes?

--- Will every prayer you ask be fulfilled?

Matthew 21:18-22

Now in the morning as he returned into the city, he hungered. And when he saw a fig tree in the way, he came to it, and found nothing thereon, but leaves only, and said unto it, Let no fruit grow on thee henceforward for ever. And presently the fig tree withered away. And when the disciples saw it, they marveled, saying, How soon is the fig tree withered away! Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done. And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

Mark 11:12-24

And on the morrow, when they were come from Bethany, he was hungry: And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find any thing thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet. And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it. And they come to Jerusalem: and Jesus went into the temple, and began to cast out them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves; And would not suffer that any man should carry any vessel through the temple. And he taught, saying unto them, Is it not written, My house shall be called of all nations the house of prayer? but ye have made it a den of thieves. And the scribes and chief priests heard it, and sought how they might destroy him: for they feared him, because all the people was astonished at his doctrine. And when even was come, he went out of the city. And in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots. And Peter calling to remembrance saith unto him, Master, behold, the fig tree which thou cursedst is withered away. And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God. For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

Growing Figs

Did the fig tree die immediately or the day after? The day after isn’t as much of a miracle, so dying immediately makes for a better story. Both versions are presented but they can’t both be true. The main problem I have though is it wasn’t the time of figs yet anyway, so Jesus gets mad at the tree because he’s hungry and wants figs when he shouldn’t expect them. His answer to the out of season fig problem is to destroy the tree.

You may have a nice allegory you can invent as an underlying meaning of this passage, but I believe the true Christian response would be to make the tree bear fruit. It’s an act of kindness and shows the benefit of bearing fruit literally and symbolically. Destruction is not a true or good miracle and doesn’t match with the claimed overall message of the book. Anyone can destroy. The tree may have been poisoned by anyone if the story is a true event.

The real miracle would have been to create figs in that moment. Jesus is shown as an annoyed aggressor instead of the kind and gentle protector of the innocent I was repeatedly told he was. In this case, he destroyed a simple member of God’s creatures either for the face value of it as it was presented or to prove some allegorical point. Either way, the essence of my human being disagrees with the approach.

All Prayers Are Answered

The passage ends with the boastful claim that whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. How many mountains have you seen cast into the ocean, literally or figuratively? Prayer doesn’t have the 100% fulfillment rate claimed here. There was actually a study done on praying over heart bypass surgery patients which resulted in those being prayed for doing worse. This at least showed no correlation between prayer and recovery since I wouldn’t think prayer could have a harmful effect.

Prayer is an expression of hope, but for a hope God will take care of something for us. That’s dangerous if people think all they need to do is pray. I talked about this before but I really hope people continue to call 911 for a doctor to intervene when people are having problems. I’d hate to think they come to believe in the power of prayer so much they think that’s the best way to respond to a problem. People are saved by doctors and their work. You might believe doctors are doing God’s work and God works through people but that doesn’t help much if there aren’t people around to help. We wouldn’t have had to develop medical skills and doctors if prayer actually healed.

Think: If people are needed to act for prayers to be answered, then what’s God doing in that scenario?

There are Christian Scientists who believe we don’t need doctors. Bible passages like these supports that assertion. In the end, its human intervention that actually gets things done and divine intervention isn’t required to support the fact doctors help keep people alive. I’d rather have a society filled with doctors, police, and others serving society than a society of priests. These other people actually contribute to humanity while priests just make some people feel good in their primary role. If religion really was powerful instead of just a placebo then all we would have ever needed were priests.

Let’s step back a moment and think about the people of 2,000-3,000 years ago. What did they think and believe? Do you know how many stories of the Bible are echoes of older mythologies we reject as obvious creations of human imagination? The virgin birth isn’t unique. How could those primitive people actually get the stories right and why were they the only ones to “talk to God”? Why is the Bible done being written? Couldn’t a better modern Bible be created from interacting with our God now? We understand so much more about the universe then our primitive ancestors and we could at least work through the text and straighten out the logical inconsistencies between two stories about the same event.

More importantly, we could have a modern Bible say slavery is a bad thing. We could actually say women are allowed to speak and teach in a church which the Bible forbids. We could correct the view that women are inferior to men. My daughter should be an equal partner and not live in subservience to her husband. I sure as heck know my wife doesn’t live that way with me because her gender doesn’t limit her in any way. She’s definitely a fellow human and an equal partner in our marriage.

Spreading Religion

What if I said God told me we don’t know what we’re talking about and the Bible is another mythology like the Greeks or Romans wrote? Why would you reject that statement? It’s exactly the sort of proof for the word of God they had back then to reject the other false idols. Why not take the Scientologists seriously as the newest religion? Trick question, they have no clue either. I bring them up just because they probably say the same thing about Christianity that the Christians said about the Roman gods back when they started. The new kid on the block has to knock out the old bully before they can run around and demand 10% of everyone’s lunch money.

Religious belief is geographic in nature and spreads in the same way we learn languages. You speak English because your parents taught you. The same thing happened with your religion. People can switch religions just like learning a new language. Converting unbelievers or other believers is like an attempt to force everyone in the United States to only speak English. I doubt we’ll ever get on the same page as a species.

Did you know Christianity only covers 33% of the world’s population? That fact shocks many Americans who assume what they see near them is a majority of the planet. There isn’t a majority belief system and any one of them could easily fade away. If you’re a religious person, have you studied the other religions in depth just in case one of them is the right one? For example, you most likely wouldn’t be a Christian right now if you were born in India, Saudi Arabia, China, Japan, or Israel. These ideas are all food for thought flowing out of my own awakening and losing my religion.