Moments of Realization, Relief, and Clarity
I’ve covered the basics of creation, belief, and knowledge in these first chapters. You may be wondering where all of these grand ideas came from without an intelligent creator telling me what I should think and believe. Can average people like you and me actually think for ourselves to come up with universal truths of our own? The answer is very simple since I didn’t do it on my own. I do have to admit I had some help. These ideas actually came to me in boxes. The various boxes of my beliefs were lovingly wrapped with gift paper, topped off with colorful bows, and tagged with labels signed by Santa Claus using my parents very own handwriting.This chapter describes the three major milestones in my mind and my beliefs where I feel I’ve grown in my understanding of what life and existence is really about. I’ve also grown in my understanding of what life’s not about despite what many other people spout off their mouths about. These are the big revelations I’ve had and are a big part of my personal story. The applicability of these moments to your own life may vary and there is no warranty implied for their use. Think these thoughts at your own risk.
Think: Santa Claus is like a religious deity working in mysterious ways to reveal a lot about human nature. The myth shows how we believe in mysterious fictions and work to make them seem real for our children.
I slowly realized during my childhood some people were lying to me and possibly lying to themselves about what’s true and important in our lives and our place in existence. I owe all of these major moments to my true savior: Santa Claus! I’d like to thank him wherever he may be for helping me understand the universe. If you think I’ve misunderstood the gifts of wisdom from my savior then I’d tell you to go talk to him about it since they’re his gifts. Ask him for the real meaning of his gifts and his existence. I don’t think he has a return or exchange policy, but maybe you can bring him over to explain it to me. In the meantime, here are my “AAH” moments I want to share with everyone.
AAH #1: Agnostic - A - H
Moment of Realization
The first AAH moment was the moment of realization there’s a lot more we don’t know compared to what we do know. I realized true wisdom and the most honest answer we can give is to admit when we don’t know instead of inventing an answer to fill gaps in knowledge. Invented answers and stories can become bigger inventions with entire mythologies of their own. Innocent people may then allow these invented truths to influence and unnecessarily control their lives if they don’t recognize them as fiction. I realized it’s best to not live my life based on lies or invented truths. Fiction can be fun entertainment but only if we know its fiction.Think: Are imaginary beings more important to us and more trusted than real beings?
Every year at Christmas I help perpetuate the innocent little lies surrounding the Santa Claus myth. I only do this for very young children enjoying the belief and traditions. I’ll gladly confirm a child’s suspicions about the truth if they ask me. The concept of Santa Claus would die off if all adults decided to stop this tradition. Children would no longer be raised to believe in him and spread the same myths to their children. So many people work together to make his persona and impacts exist despite the fact he isn’t a real person doing these things attributed to him. This makes Santa seem real because the effects of Santa actually exist.
It was by contemplating the truths surrounding this young childhood tradition that I began to see the parallels between Santa Claus and what I was raised to believe about God and Jesus. I began to question these other beliefs as a teenager. I’ve never seen anyone advocate for continuing a belief in Santa into adulthood even though the belief is wrapped in good intentions with a generally positive effect on society. Why should we do the same for other beliefs?
It was a major moment of realization for me to know stories and myths like these exist and they aren’t actually needed to keep people good with artificial concepts of morality. Kids are capable of being good without a belief in Santa and adults are capable of being good without religion. I don’t necessarily care if religions exist for people wanting them as long as they understand the religions are a fictional structure for defining a group’s traditions and morality.
This moment of realization is what opened my eyes to agnosticism. I may be agnostic about the first origin of our existence, but I do know religions are mythologies with as much impact and reality for our lives as Santa Claus. Religions only guide us and control us as much as we let them. Religions are only as good and intelligent as the people supporting them. I choose to be free of this control by my fellow humans exerted through the proxy of primitive stories and myths. I don’t see any redeeming values in possessing blind faith. I grew up and left all of my childish beliefs behind just like I did with Santa Claus.
AAH #2: Agnostic - Atheist - H
Moment of Relief
The second AAH moment was the moment of relief when my realization told me there really wasn’t an all-powerful being watching over everything we do. It’s a relief to know a single misstep doesn’t mean a possible eternity in hell. We never have to beg for forgiveness or salvation from the condemnations of the creator of the universe because those condemnations are only voiced by humans. It’s a relief to know the greatest power in existence doesn’t have a personal interest in our own simple lives. There are only the claimed spokespersons for the gods since the gods can’t seem to speak directly to us. It’s a relief to know we don’t really have to examine the world’s religions, pick the correct belief for all of eternity, and then devote our preciously short lives to worshiping something which may or may not be outside this universe.It didn’t take me long as a very young child to figure out my parents played Santa Claus. The naughty or nice list was really their list and the presents were a reward for what they hoped was me being good when nobody was looking. I don’t really remember believing in Santa and fearing for my goodness in trade for those presents. I don’t remember believing a magical man visited every child of the world on a single night, or at least every child with parents perpetuating the Santa Claus myth. We all know he doesn’t give presents to the believer kids even when their parents don’t believe.
I was still as good or bad of a kid as I was going to be anyway after I stopped believing in Santa Claus. I still remained under the less powerful but watchful eyes of my parents, family, and other authority figures in society helping guide me in what was right and wrong. It was a major moment of relief to know powerful beings don’t really watch every moment of our existence and judge every little thing we do. We can actually learn from our mistakes and how to best live within our society without a master and an absolute judgment hanging over us.
Think: What if you’ve picked the wrong religion and the god of the right religion doesn’t forgive you for making the wrong choice?
Pascal’s Wager is an argument for the existence of the Christian god proposing there’s more to be gained from wagering on the existence of god than from not believing. The wager argues a rational person should live as though god exists as the smart bet, even though the truth of the matter can’t actually be known. The problem with that wager is it assumes one of the major religions can be true and you’ve picked the right religion with your wager. Our choice isn’t just between belief and disbelief because there are different gods we can pick from as well as the possibility of a creator or god who nobody knows anything about.
Starting with agnosticism, I could argue that a creator currently unknown to us is more believable and likely than anything our ancestors have written about creation. This breaks apart Pascal’s belief or disbelief choice into an unlimited number of choices. The safer bet would be to live as if we don’t really know anything about our creator for fear of worshiping a false god. If there is a creator who would reward a human with an eternal existence after their body dies, then that deity should be most pleased with people open to the truth. The deity should value people who don’t claim to know things they don’t really know.
I would think even the Christian God, if he were real, would respect the fact I don’t blindly follow the words of humans claiming to know the perfect word of a god, even if it is from that specific god. I believe taking any one god over any other possibility is an eternally bad bet. I find immense relief in my choice as an agnostic and as an atheistic unbeliever of this world’s religions.
My atheism exists as a continuously examined and tested byproduct of my agnosticism. I will likely remain atheistic towards the theism my fellow humans try to share with me. However, in embracing agnosticism, I can’t guarantee there won’t come some theism which I end up deciding to be true human knowledge. Pantheism and the notion of this universe as god, has some plausibility simply because saying there is no “why” for the universe to exist is unsatisfying for our intellect. We lack any evidence proving there is no reason for it all but we also have to admit it’s difficult to prove a negative like that.
Scott Adams wrote a novella called God’s Debris as an interesting thought experiment about the universe being a god’s debris. Scott’s fictional hypothesis is that only self-destruction could interest and motivate an omnipotent being. He imagines god caused itself to no longer exist and we must be a part of god’s debris which came from that suicidal big bang. This is another example of the multitude of origins we haven’t yet imagined and hypothesized.
There are just so many unanswered questions and limits to our knowledge that using agnosticism to arrive at atheist conclusions makes the most sense to me. I remain open to a theistic possibility though I currently reject the religions around me. I’m very sure the truth is nothing like our religions. I imagine the real truth is well beyond anything we could imagine or possibly understand. I actually find great comfort and relief in accepting we just don’t know.
AAH #3: Agnostic - Atheist - Humanist
Moment of Clarity
The third AAH moment was the moment of clarity in that our focus should be on humanity and our society instead of what may or may not be beyond this existence. It’s clear to me the keys to a good life can be found in humanity instead of looking for it anywhere outside of ourselves. We don’t exist to worship or serve a supreme being as simple slaves in fear of a commanding deity. The most basic reason for our existence is to simply live our lives regardless of the origin of the universe.The reality behind the Santa Claus myth I experienced as a child helped shape this moment of clarity. The myth may not be true, but the traditions surrounding the myth bring families together and put a little focus on human interactions and gift giving. The fact that the gifts are given from parents pretending for them to be from an imaginary being gets in the way of the acts of human kindness. Kids asking for presents from Santa and giving thanks to him obscures the focus on the family and the true source of love.
Since I knew it was all an act of my parents, I knew everything was happening because of them even though it was done through this unnecessary mythology. This made me realize the myths could be harmful by clouding our vision and putting our focus on unreal things getting in the way of what is real and important in our lives. It quickly became obvious to me true clarity of purpose can only be seen when you get rid of the fiction and mythology hiding what we’re really doing for each other as humans.
It’s clear to me the greatest gift I can give another person isn’t the gift of anything outside of me. The greatest gift I can give is my own love, kindness, and help. Otherwise the gift is just something the person can do or get for themselves. The best gifts we can give each other are the kind of gifts which can’t be falsely attributed to others or to imaginary beings. Think about that the next time you want to do something good for someone you care about. Give them yourself instead of myths and fictions.
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